Texas


I've lived in rural Texas for about 2 years now and I thought I would
>share a few of the thing I have learned. I was born a Yankee, but
>as they say here, I came to Texas as fast as I could... All the
>following points are true and I have learned them personally...

>Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
>Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
>There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
>Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.
>Racoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
>ripe.
>If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>There are valid reasons some people put constatine wire around their
>house.
>You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
>A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>Texas has 5 seasons:
>Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
>Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
>Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
>Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
>Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
>The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops
>totally.
>Onced and Twiced are words
>It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
>Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
>Coldbeer is one word.
>People actually grow and eat Okra.
>Texans really don't have an accent.
>When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
>Green grass DOES burn.
>When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people
>drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
>The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
>couple of weeks.
>When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to
>the doctor.
>Fixinto is one word.
>A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
>Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.
>You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
>is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
>And the most important thing......There's no place I'd rather be than
>Texas!

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