Lawyer


A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12
times! On their wedding night, they settled into the Bridal Suite at
their hotel, and the bride said to her new groom: "Please, promise to
be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
The groom looked puzzled. He thought after 12 marriages, surely at
least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. So he asked
his new bride to explain this phenomenon.
She responded:
"My first husband was a Sales Rep who spent the entire marriage telling
me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be.
My second husband worked in Software Services; he was never quite sure
how it was supposed to function.
My third husband worked in Field Services, and repeatedly said that
everything was diagnostically OK but could never get the system up.
My fourth husband was an Educator. You know the old saying-Those who
can, do; those who can't, teach.
My fifth husband worked in Telemarketing. He knew he had the order, but
wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.
My sixth husband was an engineer; he told me that he understood the
basic process but needed 3 years to research, implement and design a new
state-of-the-art method.
My seventh husband worked in Administration. He knew how, but wasn't
sure whether it was his job or not.
My eighth husband worked in the Standards and Regulations Department.
He said he met the minimum standards but wasn't clear on how to do it.
My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He had the product, but
wasn't sure how to position it.
My tenth husband was a psychiatrist-all he ever wanted to do was talk
about it.
My eleventh husband was a gynaecologist-he just wanted to look at it.
My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do
was ...........God I really miss him.
So now that I've married YOU, I'm really excited!

The lawyer asked "Why is that?"

She said, "Well, it should be obvious-you're a lawyer. I just know I'm
gonna get screwed this time!
***

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